Starflight One (Jerry Jameson, 1983)
This is a TV movie about a new kind of super-speedy plane that (rather unwisely) uses rockets to boost into the upper layer of the atmosphere allowing it to travel from Los Angeles to Sydney in just two hours. However on its maiden flight some foolish individual (who just so happens to coincidentally be on board Starflight One!) gets his Australian counterpart at a rocket testing laboratory (who has a very dodgy accent!) to launch his rocket early, otherwise he will go bankrupt due to the delay, or something. The rocket is almost on a path to hit Starflight One, and then after it is self-destructed into a thousand pieces of shrapnel it
definitely hits Starflight One! Despite the craft taking evasive manoeuvres by gaining altitude to dodge the debris, a piece hits the ship right in the piece of electronic wiring that stops the rockets from turning off and so instead of going up and over the wreckage instead Starflight One heads straight up for a couple of minutes until the rocket fuel dries up, leaving them stranded weightlessly in low orbit!
Can our heroes fight against time before the air inside the pressurised craft runs out, or before they start to fall back to Earth again? And just how many times can the Columbia spacecraft be used in a single film?
This is not an entry in the official series but it is obviously very indebted to the Airport series of films, which were already getting rather silly and contrived in their set ups even after the first one! It even, as with Airport, expends a lot of time and energy on our pilot (played by Lee Majors) in a loveless marriage and having an affair with the head of P.R. for the Starflight One project (played by Lauren Hutton) who has her own problems with a bratty (at least at first) pre-teen suspicious that mom has forgotten about her estranged father and angry that she is 'cheating' on him with a pilot! (Hutton even sadly describes things as being a "love quadrangle" at one point!). Which I am sure that everyone wanting to see a sci-fi thriller was really thrilled about sitting through! But, again taking its cues from Airport, it does treat the potentially adulterous couple sympathetically and has the loveless wife still concerned for her husband's safety but already mourning the loss of their relationship whether the plane returns to Earth in one piece or not.
Similarly to the Airport films there is a large ensemble cast of passengers on the plane who all have their own issues quickly sketched in. Along with Hutton's daughter there is a kindly elderly lady, a plane engineer who for some reason so hates flying that he spends much of the first half of the film drunk (until he is forced to sober up after running out of booze and gets to do a heroic final act spacewalk to fix the rocket propellers. He's kind of the equivalent of the blue collar George Kennedy figure), and not one but two complete bastards who are begging to have some form of comeuppance visited upon them! One of the bad guys is the chap who got the rocket to launch early from Australia and caused all of this mess in the first place, so he naturally has to die in the funniest/most tragic scene of the film where the Columbia hooks up a flimsy space tube between their airlock and that of the airplane and gets groups of passengers to bounce their way down it from one end to the other! This is kind of the equivalent to the chairlift in The Towering Inferno with after the first group getting through successfully the next group of five (including our bad guy Richard Chamberlain equivalent and amusingly the elderly lady) die when the tube gets too close to the exposed damaged and sparking wiring on the side of the plane and explodes!
The other shifty bad guy is part of the funniest and most bizarre subplot of the film where he initially seems to be part of a happy honeymooning couple, with the wife having won tickets to the maiden flight to Australia on a gameshow, but it turns out that he had only gotten interested in her
after she won the tickets and used a quickie romance and marriage with her to get onto the flight so that he could embezzle the company that he works for and make off for a distant country with millions of dollars as fast as humanly possible! Which take the form of dozens of actual gold bars stuffed into the cargo hold that end up floating off into space after the cargo hold gets damaged whilst all the passengers look wistfully out of the windows at all this wealth just drifting off for nobody to own! That bad guy does not die but he is part of the first group through the bouncy tunnel providing the tense suggestion that he might do so. But instead despite begging his newlywed wife to take her place as the first to get back to Earth because he "needs the head start" he still gets arrested by the police as soon as they land anyway and is last seen being led off in handcuffs!
Oh, also Ray Milland appears in that standard role of the 'grumpy mogul' character who is bankrolling Starflight One and has to watch on helplessly as it runs into trouble (he's kind of a proto-Elon Musk or Richard Branson figure!). He is kind of the equivalent of the James Stewart character in Airport '77 (which makes sense as Jerry Jameson also directed the 'trapped undersea' Airport '77 along with this one! So he appears to be director who most liked taking airplane disaster films into more extreme environments!) as being the figure that everyone can turn to and complain that he was 'playing God' too much by trying to get to and from different places ever faster and 'didn't you ever consider the consequences of overextending yourself?' questions about his hubris in even doing such a project in the first place, especially when Milland gets annoyed that he has to accept help from his greatest business rival in getting the airplane back to Earth. But this is not really the kind of situation where the old white guy heading things has been doing things like cutting corners or employing feckless son-in-laws who will do the dirty work for him as with the William Holden character in Towering Inferno (in fact Milland's son is the one getting into this debate with him in their confrontation scene!), so the scene of standing up to the boss man is kind of in this film just because its something that all films of this disaster movie subgenre have to have for extra drama whether it makes logical sense or not to do so!
The film does rely a bit too heavily on a couple of ideas. One is that everyone relies so much on the Columbia being able to save the day in its back and forth commutes that it comes to seem like an advert for how great that one particular spaceship is, with nothing else even being considered as being able to help out! And the other is that structurally the film relies far to much on the 'revelation moment' where the head designer (who at one point has to get spacewalked out of Starflight in an (almost) airtight coffin that provides an almost inadvertently weird 2001-style image of two spacemen flanking the rectangular object) has to have at least three, and maybe four, separate scenes of being despairing and upset that he cannot come up with a solution only for another character to say something mundane that gives him a sudden flash of inspiration! Two moments of that are already too much, but three or more is getting ridiculous and diluting the exciting rarity of a eureka moment into just being something that happens every ten minutes or so!
Whilst a lot of the material in this film was already close to parody even back when it was new (and already
had been parodied by films such as
The Big Bus and of course Airplane! and its sequel. Arguably the fourth Airport film was a parody too! It was certainly dumb enough to play like one!) Starflight One adds the new wrinkle of space to the proceedings (cue a lot of weightless acting and objects floating around!) and whilst it is not particularly outstanding I do think that it works pretty well as a capstone to that entire subgenre of 'airplane disaster' films, even playing the parodies at their own game! So take this as a complimentary post to the
one I did about the Airport series a few years back!
Also it is strange to think that until Apollo 13 came out this was one of only a handful of films showing people trying to desperately makeshift up stopgap solutions to getting a spacecraft safely back to Earth! I would hazard a guess that the real Apollo 13 events bore some influence on some of the action in this (of course far sillier!) film that spends so much time with characters in meeting rooms poring over schematics.
Anyway (spoiler!) everything all turns out for the best (apart from those passengers and members of the crew who die! This film has a surprisingly high body count for a TV movie!). Though a warning that this is definitely not the film to watch if you get jealous of seeing unbelievably luxurious amounts of leg room on aircraft! The aircraft even has room for a little lounge area in the centre of one of the cabins!