The Armond White Thread

[tavernier]

The 2012 "Better Than" List does not disappoint

[knives]

The whole exercise is stupid and some of the comparisons don't make sense, but where the logic is clear its hard to disagree (though I think with films of such magnitude the Carax to Cronenberg comparison is extra redundant).

[Brian C]

There are a few more that got left off of that article:

Parental Guidance > Zero Dark Thirty
Andy Fickman's agonizingly honest exploration of the self-doubt of the boomer generation banished the sour aftertaste of Kathryn Bigelow's self-congratulatory back-slapping, a "mission accomplished" delusion.

The Guilt Trip > Zero Dark Thirty
Hollywood's real greatest female director, Anne Fletcher, pointedly demonstrated the complexity and grace of her gender in a searing performance by Barbra Steisand, while the more celebrated but idiotic Kathryn Bigelow managed only an empty-headed rejoinder, a "mission accomplished" delusion.

Chimpanzee > Zero Dark Thirty
Hollywood found a fitting subject for its all-encompassing exoticism in this DisneyNature documentary, more about humans than the animals it purports to study, while Kathryn Bigelow desperately tried to distract us from the greater world at large with exoticism-as-usual, a "mission accomplished" delusion.

[Mr Sausage]

That's a terrible imitation of Armond, Brian C. I can understand what you've written!

[life_boy]

If this movie is the huge hit it deserves to be, it will contravene the bogus sophistication and vain smugness that have overtaken the pop arts for at least the past two decades and soured millennial film culture.

Sounds like White accidentally described his schtick.

[rspaight]

"Aphorisms vs. Propaganda."

Merkins vs. Baseball Gloves.

Armond vs. English.

[HistoryProf]

There are a few more that got left off of that article:

Parental Guidance > Zero Dark Thirty
Andy Fickman's agonizingly honest exploration of the self-doubt of the boomer generation banished the sour aftertaste of Kathryn Bigelow's self-congratulatory back-slapping, a "mission accomplished" delusion.

Unforgivable > Zero Dark Thirty
Andre Techine tested political correctness against the difficulty of family/social life. It was the most sophisticated and morally challenging film of the year. Its essential politics exposed Kathryn Bigelow’s non-committal and unexceptional genre movie, a “mission accomplished” delusion. Techine showed how “family” and forgiveness are unfinished missions.

The Guilt Trip > Zero Dark Thirty
Hollywood's real greatest female director, Anne Fletcher, pointedly demonstrated the complexity and grace of her gender in a searing performance by Barbra Steisand, while the more celebrated but idiotic Kathryn Bigelow managed only an empty-headed rejoinder, a "mission accomplished" delusion.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Taken 2 > Zero Dark Thirty
Neveldine-Taylor and Olivier Megaton revealed the post-9/11 zeitgeist in genre tropes, while Bigelow reduced the zeitgeist to an enigmatic comic strip, a “mission accomplished” delusion.

Chimpanzee > Zero Dark Thirty
Hollywood found a fitting subject for its all-encompassing exoticism in this DisneyNature documentary, more about humans than the animals it purports to study, while Kathryn Bigelow desperately tried to distract us from the greater world at large with exoticism-as-usual, a "mission accomplished" delusion.

Much like Garfunkel and Oates "Hitler or Kanye?" routine...we have our own "Armond or Brian C?"

seriously...how fucking lazy does a critic have to be to not only bash the same movie twice in a list, but say the same exact thing about it both times?

[HistoryProf]

And this might be my favorite Armondism ever...probably went something like "Let's see what has a black star and got 0% on rotten tomatoes this year...and then I'll say it was more profound than something that got 95% or better! That'll show em how smart I am! Shills! They're all shills for the lamestream media machine!!! Where's my Thorazine?!?!?! someone bring me my buttermilk!

A Thousand Words > Argo
Brian Robbins and Eddie Murphy dared the most personal Hollywood critique since Clifford Odets’ The Big Knife; Ben Affleck trivialized Hollywood accountability.

[tavernier]

Armond loves him some Eddie Murphy: his fawning over Norbit is, even for him, ludicrous.

[tavernier]

AO Scott with a review of Beasts of the Southern Wild which will warm Armond's heart.

Armond sorta answers AO

[Perkins Cobb]

I have to admit, most of that is dead-on.

[matrixschmatrix]

That's kind of a shockingly good article from White, though it's still got a few uncalled for attacks (making fun of the actress's name) and irrelevancies about Obama and so forth

[knives]

I was afraid to speak up, but yeah a few minor things aside really good article.

[domino harvey]

The eternal question: Which do I hate more, Armond White or Beasts of the Southern Wild?

[Jean-Luc Garbo]

It’s livelier than Pedro Costa’s condescending view of European blacks, but that’s far from a recommendation.

What?

[knives]

That's something I can kind of agree with at least in regards to Ossos which was better described by someone in its proper thread (perhaps Dom). That film could very easily be put into the essay instead of Beasts with minimal change.

[Perkins Cobb]

I haven't seen any of the relevant Costas, but it's a canny reversal on David Gordon Green, whom White implicitly indicts for losing all interest in the black South after George Washington -- which (unlike Armond, at least originally) I always saw as a blatant "calling card" film, with a lot of the same problems (Malick fetishism, reduction of African Americans to symbolic or sentimental dimensions) as Beasts of the Southern Wild.

[Zot!]

That's something I can kind of agree with at least in regards to Ossos which was better described by someone in its proper thread (perhaps Dom). That film could very easily be put into the essay instead of Beasts with minimal change.

I have not seen BotSW, but it's also how I felt about George Washington, which Armond praised in comparison. Costa walks a fine line for me as well. Though perhaps those are less racial and more classist. Still, the sentiment feels a little cheap.

[Michael Kerpan]

I remember when Armond _often_ wrote stuff of this caliber (but admit it has been quite a long while).

[Mr Sausage]

Maybe Armond finally got an editor? Both this and his Amour review were strikingly lucid (agree with his opinion or not).

[tavernier]

42 > Lincoln

[flyonthewall2983]

Has he made any comments about Ebert's passing?

[rs98762001]

42 > Lincoln

Having suffered through Lincoln, I can see where he's coming from.

[tavernier]

Armond goes after Spielberg for last weekend's Obama short

[kingofthejungle]

Armond goes after Spielberg for last weekend's Obama short

If it weren't for the absence of the phrase 'hipster nihilism', that piece would be the epitome of Armondness.