flyonthewall2983 wrote: ↑Mon May 29, 2023 10:01 amSpoilerShowI suppose the concern comes in at how the potential of how he balances what his mother has sworn to him, and his internalization of the Hollywood fantasy of his father’s life. The natural trauma (not just of a child but anyone who survived it, since I’m guessing by the final act Fuches is not in very good shape if any shape at all after the news of Barry’s death) arising out of the events he was merely a witness to as a child plays into a lot of this too, and definitely for me when the camera cuts to his reactions to the movie.
SpoilerShow
Those are fair concerns, and I'd like to also say I enjoy hearing your individual thoughts. I suppose where I land is rooted in the show's interest in exploring subjectivity vs objectivity, the inherent issues in each, and especially the issues in expecting one to overwhelm the other; the resilience in both delusion and shared reality, as well as the problematic toxicity and harm in both delusion and shared reality. Delusion seems inescapable on some level, not only because we have psychological defenses protecting us, but also because we inherently concoct narratives based on our own subjective experience. We live in our own heads, and if we do 'share' reality with others, it's in fleeting moments of connection that themselves contain barriers from 'self' in perspective, traumas, defenses, insecurities, etc.
John certainly retained what he heard from his mother about his father, but he also experienced a loving, attentive, protective father, who was active in his development. His mother also called herself a murderer and a bad mother, and his intervention was to immediately hug her, because even if she was neglectful and problematic, his love for her superseded resentment; her explanations of her misdeeds mattered less to him than her pivotal, caring role in his life. Just as the victims of Barry would not see his transformation from a distance as information that nullifies the harm he acutely caused them, one should not expect John to redefine his relationship to his father based on second-hand information about his past. This returns to the power of subjectivity vs objectivity, and the show's tremendous and risky position at not endorsing one or the other, since both are undoubtedly 'real' and 'true' to each individual. Barry believes he must be good in some way because a part of him is, and he is resilient in fighting his self-hatred and trauma, even if that is objectively causing harm; Sally and Hank and Gene and Fuches all have similar journeys of leaning into destructive or constructive developments based on their own emotionally-driven narratives, some to positive ends and others to harmful ones. The mess (which the show documents so well in its absurd dark comedy) lies in the conflict between these competing perspectives, wills, defenses.
I like how, through all the comically-presented Born Again component of Barry's "reformed" self working in friction with his psychological profile as yet another delusion (albeit, a constructive one!), John gets the opportunity to embody those teachings of Christian forgiveness towards his mother and father. Parents often say that they want to do differently for their kids what they felt they didn't get from their parents, and this is a great, hopeful example of an extreme version of that. Two people fucked up by the world did spend some time aiding constructive development in a child, only at different times - Barry during his formative years while Sally was still a wreck, and then Sally picked up the pieces when she had to during the rest. John will still have his share of problems - none of us escape our formative years without some traumas, and this show has demonstrated that even the most privileged won't be spared - but he chooses love with his resilience. And, alongside all the horrible acts his parents committed over four seasons of TV, they did a pretty damn good job at setting the foundation for him to excel as a good person. Maybe not in a smiley-Hollywood way - it was messy and awful too - but that's how life is. They infused John with a mentality to be good, and their own resiliences bled into his ability to be resilient too, ideally in a more healthy way.
John certainly retained what he heard from his mother about his father, but he also experienced a loving, attentive, protective father, who was active in his development. His mother also called herself a murderer and a bad mother, and his intervention was to immediately hug her, because even if she was neglectful and problematic, his love for her superseded resentment; her explanations of her misdeeds mattered less to him than her pivotal, caring role in his life. Just as the victims of Barry would not see his transformation from a distance as information that nullifies the harm he acutely caused them, one should not expect John to redefine his relationship to his father based on second-hand information about his past. This returns to the power of subjectivity vs objectivity, and the show's tremendous and risky position at not endorsing one or the other, since both are undoubtedly 'real' and 'true' to each individual. Barry believes he must be good in some way because a part of him is, and he is resilient in fighting his self-hatred and trauma, even if that is objectively causing harm; Sally and Hank and Gene and Fuches all have similar journeys of leaning into destructive or constructive developments based on their own emotionally-driven narratives, some to positive ends and others to harmful ones. The mess (which the show documents so well in its absurd dark comedy) lies in the conflict between these competing perspectives, wills, defenses.
I like how, through all the comically-presented Born Again component of Barry's "reformed" self working in friction with his psychological profile as yet another delusion (albeit, a constructive one!), John gets the opportunity to embody those teachings of Christian forgiveness towards his mother and father. Parents often say that they want to do differently for their kids what they felt they didn't get from their parents, and this is a great, hopeful example of an extreme version of that. Two people fucked up by the world did spend some time aiding constructive development in a child, only at different times - Barry during his formative years while Sally was still a wreck, and then Sally picked up the pieces when she had to during the rest. John will still have his share of problems - none of us escape our formative years without some traumas, and this show has demonstrated that even the most privileged won't be spared - but he chooses love with his resilience. And, alongside all the horrible acts his parents committed over four seasons of TV, they did a pretty damn good job at setting the foundation for him to excel as a good person. Maybe not in a smiley-Hollywood way - it was messy and awful too - but that's how life is. They infused John with a mentality to be good, and their own resiliences bled into his ability to be resilient too, ideally in a more healthy way.