Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

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Roscoe
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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#26 Post by Roscoe » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:23 pm

Brian C wrote:
mfunk9786 wrote: If you make a film about a character's Mercedes getting a flat tire, I don't resent the character for the wealth that afforded them the car, I just wonder how much of my emotional investment I have to offer to that story from the viewer's perspective. It's not going to be at the same level as Wendy and Lucy, for instance. Maybe that's class resentment? But I'd like to think it's just common sense.
Curious example, in that getting a flat tire - like getting an intense crush on someone - is something that's pretty relatable regardless of one's income level or social station. That you choose to make the situation about the Mercedes isn't going to dispel the notion of class resentment.
Interesting response, in that I didn't see it as being about the "Mercedes" but about the mundanity of the experience of the flat tire. Everybody's had a flat tire. It's not about the value of the car, but about the impact of that flat tire on the audience expected to sit there and watch the guy change it. For some it will be life-changing and tear-inducing. For others it will be just a tire change, they happen every day.

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Brian C
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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#27 Post by Brian C » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:29 pm

Roscoe wrote:Interesting response, in that I didn't see it as being about the "Mercedes" but about the mundanity of the experience of the flat tire. Everybody's had a flat tire. It's not about the value of the car, but about the impact of that flat tire on the audience expected to sit there and watch the guy change it. For some it will be life-changing and tear-inducing. For others it will be just a tire change, they happen every day.
With all due respect, I don't see how you missed that he specifically made the scenario about someone with a Mercedes getting a flat tire, and then compared it unfavorably with another movie about a poor person also going through a relatively mundane experience. If that contrast wasn't about class distinctions, it had no point.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#28 Post by swo17 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:42 pm

I've never gotten a flat tire.

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domino harvey
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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#29 Post by domino harvey » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:49 pm

I've had a Fat Tire beer

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mfunk9786
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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#30 Post by mfunk9786 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:49 pm

I had a flat tire in my early days of friendship with LQ, and she came down the street to help me change it, in a dress and heels, because she knew how to do it and I was about to call Roadside Assistance. Her father called me a "pansy" upon hearing about the incident. (He had not met me at that point, I had not asked for LQ's help, and I certainly did not ask for his input. It was just mere luck by which he was able to correctly to describe me to a T.)
Brian C wrote:That you choose to make the situation about the Mercedes isn't going to dispel the notion of class resentment.
Is merely weighing something alongside other factors to assess the impact something can have on a low income person inherently a resentment of the rich? All this [literal] pearl clutching!

It isn't just about Elio's income. It's the emotional support he has access to, it's the art he has access to, the education he has access to. The natural splendor and relative safety of his surroundings, his physical attractiveness, his blossoming emotional perceptiveness. If you remove any of these Jenga pieces, the story stands a chance of becoming incrementally more compelling just by default. None of this means an interesting story can't be told about people with a ton of privilege without it being something that condemns them - this just wasn't that story in my book.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#31 Post by Fiery Angel » Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:05 pm

Roscoe wrote:I've noticed that I have less patience than I used to with these tales of Adolescent Agony. The current Broadway musical DEAR EVAN HANSEN, while provoking buckets of tears from so many had me only thinking it was a snivelling afterschool special. I've just outgrown this stuff.
Bingo--I cannot believe the raves about this routine musical. (Of course, I'm not a "Hamilton" fan, either, so...)

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#32 Post by swo17 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:06 pm

mfunk9786 wrote:It isn't just about Elio's income. It's the emotional support he has access to, it's the art he has access to, the education he has access to. The natural splendor and relative safety of his surroundings, his physical attractiveness, his blossoming emotional perceptiveness. If you remove any of these Jenga pieces, the story stands a chance of becoming incrementally more compelling just by default.
What about all that emotional turmoil from getting a big break in a Woody Allen film?

Oh and also, I just remembered, I did actually get a flat tire once.

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knives
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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#33 Post by knives » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:04 pm

domino harvey wrote:I've had a Fat Tire beer
The true victim here.

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Brian C
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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#34 Post by Brian C » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:13 pm

mfunk9786 wrote:Is merely weighing something alongside other factors to assess the impact something can have on a low income person inherently a resentment of the rich? All this [literal] pearl clutching!
Well, I suppose not "inherently". But I'm not addressing "inherently", I'm talking specifically about the things you're actually saying. Also, I don't literally own any pearls to clutch.
It isn't just about Elio's income. It's the emotional support he has access to, it's the art he has access to, the education he has access to. The natural splendor and relative safety of his surroundings, his physical attractiveness, his blossoming emotional perceptiveness. If you remove any of these Jenga pieces, the story stands a chance of becoming incrementally more compelling just by default.
I guess I just don't see what any of this has to do with anything - none of that affects how and what he's feeling at all. And I don't see why it would or should.

And you're still right where we started, with the unavoidable conclusion that "privileged" people don't deserve your empathy. Why bother arguing if you're not even going to contradict what I'm saying? You seem to be trying very hard to justify this viewpoint, but there's really no need - I'm just pointing out how I disagree with your perspective.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#35 Post by DarkImbecile » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:29 pm

mfunk9786 wrote:I was shocked that we didn't have a thread for this film, though I think discussions of how theaters handled the end credits sequence are germane to one, so I moved them over here to get it going. It's a Best Picture nominee, for goodness' sake!
When I first saw the movie in January and it shot to the top of my 2017 list, I couldn't find a thread for it, assumed there had to have been one and I was just being obtuse, and figured I'd just wait until it eventually got bumped.
mfunk9786 wrote:Timothée Chalamet's character is absolutely swimming (literally) in privilege, isn't wanting for access to sexuality or the acceptance of his family or anything else that usually complicates the existence of a queer young person in the movies and in actual life.
I actually thought the lack of the by-now cliched "coming out" obstacles faced by Elio was part of what made the movie work so well; rather than emphasizing the struggle against homophobic parents or peers, institutional indifference or hostility, guilt based in religion or cultural shaming, or obvious teenage identity angst, the film is able to focus on the core relationship and its universally relatable aspects. This both works in making the film as accessible as possible while also presenting an extratextually valuable cultural representation of a gay relationship that doesn't end in AIDS, suicide, hate crimes, etc. - just a broken heart. And the fact that the heartache is contextualized not as a loss of "the (only) One" or a life-defining absence, but a step on the path to adulthood, is part of the beauty of Call Me By Your Name. The reason I was in tears during Stuhlbarg's speech wasn't because of any sadness for Elio - the film seems to agree with everyone here that he'll be just fine - but because I wish I (as a heterosexual white male who grew up poor, more or less fatherless, monolingual, with no musical ability, Mercedes-less, Italian villa-less) had heard something approaching that meaningful from my parents about the importance of not growing calloused or closed off to the pain that often comes with the best parts of life. I don't think we need to feel pity or sympathy for characters going through some of the most basic human emotions to feel invested in or relate to those characters and emotions.

It seems that those voicing criticism mostly have issues with the accessibility of the characters and the narrative, which is going to be subjective regardless of what anyone else says, but I haven't heard any complaints about the stellar cinematography, acting, music, and all the other elements done so well here; if nothing else, this is not a hard movie to watch, and from its passionate supporters, it seems that if it hits you in the right spot, it hits pretty hard. I'd be curious if anyone has any technical or even structural/story complaints beyond the "poor little rich kid" or played out "nothing but bike rides in the country" themes.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#36 Post by knives » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:40 pm

Well, there's been reviews which suggest that Guadagnino's direction is implicitly homophobic.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#37 Post by DarkImbecile » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:42 pm

How so? That's new to me... any links?

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#38 Post by zedz » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:47 pm

mfunk9786 wrote:I had a flat tire in my early days of friendship with LQ, and she came down the street to help me change it, in a dress and heels, because she knew how to do it and I was about to call Roadside Assistance. Her father called me a "pansy" upon hearing about the incident. (He had not met me at that point, I had not asked for LQ's help, and I certainly did not ask for his input. It was just mere luck by which he was able to correctly to describe me to a T.)
That sounds like the reverse of something that happened with my first serious girlfriend. She got a flat tyre going home from my place, called for help, so I drove out and changed it for her. Her family treated me like a hero and she sent me flowers!

Moral of the story: know how to change a tyre. Also handy for zombie apocalypses.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#39 Post by knives » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:47 pm

DarkImbecile wrote:How so? That's new to me... any links?
(just to clarify I haven't seen the film) I've heard a few things about the film willing to ogle at the straight sex scenes, but being reserved and ashamed in its framing of the gay one. Most of this I've heard in person, but here's a weaker Internet example I know of off hand. Like with I Am Not Your Negro I get the sense that only gay audience members have really been noticing this.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#40 Post by Big Ben » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:57 pm

I haven't seen the film either but I have read the director's response to the lack of explicitness. Here is said article.
“To put our gaze upon their lovemaking would have been a sort of unkind intrusion,” the director said in Italian-accented English. “I think that their love is in all things, so when we gaze towards the window and we see the trees, there is a sense of witnessing that. I refuse with strong firmness that I was coy in not showing that, because I think that Oliver and Elio and Armie and Timothée, the four of them displayed a very strong intimacy and closeness in so many ways and it was enough.”
Make of that what you will.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#41 Post by mfunk9786 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:59 pm

One of my favorite things about posting opinions on this forum is being told what I meant, trying to clarify it, then being told what I meant again. It's great! I'm glad someone knows what I'm thinking and what my values are, because I sure don't.
DarkImbecile wrote:if nothing else, this is not a hard movie to watch, and from its passionate supporters, it seems that if it hits you in the right spot, it hits pretty hard. I'd be curious if anyone has any technical or even structural/story complaints beyond the "poor little rich kid" or played out "nothing but bike rides in the country" themes.
Onto a reasonable conversation now: DI, you make an absolutely fair point about it not being a hard movie to watch, and being borderline pleasant for most of its runtime, mostly because of how charming Armie Hammer is. The guy spends most of this film looking like Ryan Gosling and sounding like Jon Hamm, and that seems like a pretty good place for a young actor to be. If I had any other criticism beyond the ones you mention here (which aren't inherently invalid ones...), it'd be that none of the resplendent wisdom of Stuhlbarg's final speech exists in any other dialogue throughout the film. It wouldn't make sense for Hammer and Chalamet to be conversing this way, of course, but the movie telegraphs that these characters have a deeper friendship off-screen than they do on. It isn't the bike rides themselves that are a problem, but the feeling that when we cut away from the bike ride, these young men are going to sit down at a cafe and engage verbally with each other for a while, and at least some of it is going to be worth hearing. Their inner relationship feels stunted because of this and Chalamet's already shy mannerisms, and it is to the film's detriment that we don't see the nonsexual ways in which Hammer is able to get him to come out of his shell more vividly. I suspect there's a better version of this film in the editing room.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#42 Post by Brian C » Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:19 pm

mfunk9786 wrote:One of my favorite things about posting opinions on this forum is being told what I meant, trying to clarify it, then being told what I meant again. It's great! I'm glad someone knows what I'm thinking and what my values are, because I sure don't.
Believe it or not, I've taken a lot of effort to paraphrase you fairly, so if I've fallen short I apologize.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#43 Post by Never Cursed » Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:21 pm

mfunk9786 wrote:I suspect there's a better version of this film in the editing room.
And how! There's definitely a better (and longer) version, given how much this movie was reportedly cut down

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#44 Post by DarkImbecile » Tue Feb 20, 2018 9:00 pm

Well, I did ask for a different strain of critique.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#45 Post by mfunk9786 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:48 pm

Brian C wrote:
mfunk9786 wrote:One of my favorite things about posting opinions on this forum is being told what I meant, trying to clarify it, then being told what I meant again. It's great! I'm glad someone knows what I'm thinking and what my values are, because I sure don't.
Believe it or not, I've taken a lot of effort to paraphrase you fairly, so if I've fallen short I apologize.
How about from now on, you either engage with what I’ve actually said, or not at all? That way you don’t have to take any effort to paraphrase me, twist my words to suit your antagonism, or anything else. Seems like an elegant solution to me, but it’s a free country. :)

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#46 Post by Brian C » Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:46 pm

Well, again, I certainly had no intention to antagonize, much less to twist your words in order to do so.

To be perfectly honest, I don't see how I've twisted your words at all. You've very consistently expressed the idea that Elio's privilege made it hard for you to engage emotionally with the film. I've consistently engaged with that notion and its implications. If I've in any way misrepresented your viewpoint in that paraphrase - which I am employing for the sake of simplicity instead of quoting several posts at length - then I've misunderstood you and sincerely apologize (though if that's the case, in addition to apologizing, I would urge you to express yourself more clearly).

So, whatever. I have to assume that the rest of the board has long since tired of this discussion so I'll leave it at that.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#47 Post by Ribs » Wed Feb 21, 2018 12:02 am

I'm a bit more cool on the movie overall then when I saw it two months ago, but a few things have struck me. I also hope we can all agree that no film's thread should be a device to hurl accusations and slurs at the filmmakers themselves.

Firstly - the nudity (or lack thereof). I've agreed since before I saw this, since the "controversy" began brewing shortly after Toronto that Ivory wrote the film expecting lots of nudity only for Guadagnino to have not signed contracts allowing that. It's dumb, and bad, especially as when I saw this at the very first Thursday-night showing in my metro area to a packed crowd they can't help but laugh at every single gay thing that happens, which is just a weird reality of the world we live in now. Had the actual sex scenes been made more "real" by the use of real nudity that actually represented gay sex in beyond the most superficial terms, this might not have been the case, but that just might have made them even more uncomfortable.

However, the scene with the bare-chested women happens maybe two scenes before the aforementioned sex scene, and *that* sex scene is, I think, deliberately meant to not really inspire anything on the part of the audience. It's dull and boring; it's just two people have straight sex, and neither of them seem to have their hearts in it at all. But just two minutes later, when its dark and we can't see much and the male nudity is totally hidden from us, even though we don't see it we're infinitely more excited and passionate about what's happening. Again, my personal belief is less in Guadagnino's explanation for why he didn't do it and moreso the "actors sign contracts that bar full-frontal male nudity" which is totally understandable if regrettable (and I've got to wonder if that'll suddenly be out the window in the event of a sequel, considering the brouhaha it seems to have generated).

Anyway, I do admire how Elio is just a total asshole. He's super entitled and thinks he knows everything. He's just a (dumb) kid, obviously, but it's actually something I think improves the character from something like Rooney Mara in Carol that might come across a little stale (not that Carol has any flaws whatsoever). Something I read was that the remarkable thing Guadagnino did was make a good film despite having seemingly never-ending terrible ideas, such as that Sufjan Stevens was to narrate the film as present-day Elio and the songs were to express his inner feelings directly. Thankfully, almost all of those misguided ideas haven't ended up in the final version of this, though I really do think the scoring is very clever when taking into account that it probably was, at least at some stage of the process, being inserted under the guise that all of it is being "scored" to Elio's recollection of the events. But that might be a bit of a stretch, I dunno.
SpoilerShow
The thing here that really didn't work as well for me is the ending, which I think just goes on too long in my opinion, and I say this as somebody who dearly loves the work of Steven Spielberg in large part due to his LONG denouements making sure the ship gets all the way back into port. The emotional catharsis of this film isn't the sex scene, it's their trip together, and that Sufjan Stevens song, followed by the few moments we see of them around town. I just can't help but to think of a Brief Encounter situation, it just ending as the train leaves the station and they never see one another again. But then he calls home, he gets picked up, he has the talk with his dad, we go forward in time, etc. Stuhlbarg is great with the monologue, as everyone's said all year, but he's kind of just blatantly explaining the movie's "lesson" that, theoretically, a savvy audience will have already inferred. I still *like* the ending and totally get the whole reason why it's what many people think is really the strength of the film as a whole, but I just kind of think it's a bit of a misstep and cutting twenty minutes off the runtime could have achieved a film that pretty much amounted to the same thing.
Lovely film, one of the best of the year, just wish it wasn't nominated for Best Picture. Pound-for-pound, I think in the end the film would have been better off without that baggage. (I'm admittedly a crazy person who believes "best picture" means something totally distinct from anything regarding what film was best of the year, and really don't think this film fits into that perceived conversation whatsoever).

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#48 Post by All the Best People » Wed Feb 21, 2018 12:58 am

knives wrote:Aren't there hundreds of books and films with such low stakes some of which are fairly universally regarded as good? I don't mean to say that Guadagnino sells the story well enough to invest into it, but how different are the stakes here from, say, your average Rohmer film? The question, as I understand it from a variety of people that have seen the film, isn't whether the tears are useful, but if those are the emotions he would feel at that moment allowing him to break into humanity. It's a very small r romantic notion.
There are often moral stakes -- stakes of personal character -- in Rohmer's films. Beliefs put on the line, adherence to codes being challenged. That doesn't exist here, for me, anyway -- which isn't some crime, not all films have to deal with those sorts of things, though most great ones do. The lack I felt here wasn't so much of stakes as it was of any sort of resonant conflict, and I didn't really feel any emotional pull to the relationship, which struck me (from Elio's perspective, at least) as a physical awakening more than an emotional one.

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#49 Post by mfunk9786 » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:15 am

Brian, all I’ll say is that I’ve discussed multiple aspects of the film at length here and engaged with other people on it as well and you’ve chosen to hone in on one thing and say my entire opinion hinges on that and only that. You can post until you’re blue in the keyboard about what you’ve decided I think about this film or you can mercifully move on and stop telling me how clear I’m not being. You seem to be the only person who has a problem with it, so maybe it doesn’t lie with me?

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Re: Call Me by Your Name (Luca Guadagnino, 2017)

#50 Post by pandroid7 » Sun Feb 25, 2018 6:22 pm

DarkImbecile wrote:I actually thought the lack of the by-now cliched "coming out" obstacles faced by Elio was part of what made the movie work so well; rather than emphasizing the struggle against homophobic parents or peers, institutional indifference or hostility, guilt based in religion or cultural shaming, or obvious teenage identity angst, the film is able to focus on the core relationship and its universally relatable aspects. This both works in making the film as accessible as possible while also presenting an extratextually valuable cultural representation of a gay relationship that doesn't end in AIDS, suicide, hate crimes, etc. - just a broken heart. And the fact that the heartache is contextualized not as a loss of "the (only) One" or a life-defining absence, but a step on the path to adulthood, is part of the beauty of Call Me By Your Name. The reason I was in tears during Stuhlbarg's speech wasn't because of any sadness for Elio - the film seems to agree with everyone here that he'll be just fine - but because I wish I (as a heterosexual white male who grew up poor, more or less fatherless, monolingual, with no musical ability, Mercedes-less, Italian villa-less) had heard something approaching that meaningful from my parents about the importance of not growing calloused or closed off to the pain that often comes with the best parts of life. I don't think we need to feel pity or sympathy for characters going through some of the most basic human emotions to feel invested in or relate to those characters and emotions.

It seems that those voicing criticism mostly have issues with the accessibility of the characters and the narrative, which is going to be subjective regardless of what anyone else says, but I haven't heard any complaints about the stellar cinematography, acting, music, and all the other elements done so well here; if nothing else, this is not a hard movie to watch, and from its passionate supporters, it seems that if it hits you in the right spot, it hits pretty hard. I'd be curious if anyone has any technical or even structural/story complaints beyond the "poor little rich kid" or played out "nothing but bike rides in the country" themes.
Yes yes yes. As a queer person, I get tired of the fact that usually, in order for a queer film to break through to the awards season/perpetual writeups stage (which seems to honestly only happen with one or two films per year), it MUST be focused on tragedy and hardship. Queer people deserve all types of films, and it was extremely refreshing to see a gay love story that managed to be emotional and heartbreaking without having the typical antagonistic elements present. I loved Moonlight, and it was a story that demanded to be told and seeing it win best picture is a moment I will hold dear in my queer heart for all time. However, I really liked that the next Chosen One was something decidedly different and less high stakes story of first love and romance.

However, I hesitate even to really say it was less high stakes because emotionally this film took a huge toll on me and continues to. The tenacious and almost time release way in which it wove itself into my consciousness is remarkable and rare and I sometimes wonder if I'll ever recover from it. One of the most unique things about my experience with the film is that nearly every close, fellow queer friend I have saw it within the space of a couple weeks, and I kept having different versions of the same conversation with them. Conversations in which we commiserated and wept and analyzed and felt so much closer to each other in a way that has been invaluable to us especially in this politically contentious era in which we often feel so alone. Now, I want to make it clear I'm not suggesting anyone here whose experience was less than stellar be influenced or convinced by this. Sometimes a film doesn't connect and if Elio's privilege or general demeanor or any other elements just kept you from connecting, that's just how it crumbles, cookie-wise. :P It's so hard to say what makes art work or not work for someone, and it's not something you have a lot of control over. Just know that this film viscerally impacted me and so many of the people I love in my life in a way not easily forgotten. I will try to describe some of the elements here that really packed a punch for me.

First off, I agree with what Mungo mentioned here about Elio's parents kind of recognized that he was an awkward kid who had yet to connect in a real way with his peers. Both his father and mother are seen encouraging interaction between Elio and Oliver at different points in the film, and I think with the precedent being set that Elio is a bit standoffish and unsure how to communicate his feelings (his tendency to be alone transcribing music yet furtively looking at Oliver wishing he could join in, sniping at Oliver about Bach and then berating himself for it privately), it makes sense that, combined with his age and the newness of this experience, it would hit him like a ton of bricks when he finally lets his walls down and opens himself up to his intense desire for Oliver.

One of the main aspects of this movie that made it so successful for me is that it's a film told in queer language. It's subtle, it's nuanced, you have to fill in the blanks about their connection because they can't make the big, obvious, out-in-the-open romantic overtures that straight people do (see: Elio saying Oliver didn't give him any signs and Oliver vehemently protesting that yes he did, when he massaged his shoulder). Now, some of you might argue that Elio's privilege contradicts this, but it doesn't. I had a very liberal parent who gave zero shits about my sexuality and dialogue was always open and non-judgmental. That doesn't insulate you from the outside world or from your own young, fledgling insecurities though. It's still very difficult to just take the leap and pursue someone of the same sex when you're messily navigating your budding sexuality, and that was something this film did expertly that I found my friends and I continually coming back to. I imagine some people will read this as a lack of connection/not enough to go on, but for me it was spot on and I related so fucking hard.

This was in no small part due to the excellence of Chalamet's performance. He is very believable as Elio, and his attention to detail and body language was superb. The way he touches his fingers to his lips in awe after Oliver holds his hand. The desperate, frustrated, whiney moan he chokes out at the beginning of the peach scene when he’s remembering his night with Oliver...I've made a variation of that masturbatory fantasizing sound and I think most people have. It's a quiet, intimate moment you don't feel like you should be watching, and even though that sound is maybe one second of film time, it haunts me. The way he puts his foot on top of Oliver’s when he isn’t sure how to begin. The way he navigates the spectrum of emotions he experiences when parting with Oliver for the final time, running his knuckles and the back of his hand under his chin, twitching and taking deep breaths on the bench before finally calling his mother. He’s nervous and awkward and unsure of himself but playing at being confident and composed sometimes, like he’s trying on different suits to see what fits. It’s so relatable it aches.

I saw the film a little over a month ago now, and I made the dubious decision to accompany a couple friends to see it a second time (was not a responsible decision in terms of my emotional well-being honestly haha). The second time around, since I knew what was coming, I had more time to focus on details. One portion of the film that jumped out at me more the second time around is the scene of Elio’s mother reading to them. After she reads the “is it better to speak or die?” part and Elio laments his lack of courage to ask such a thing, we get our first hint of how well his parents know the internal struggles he thinks are hidden. Mr. Perlman reminds him he can always talk to them, and then we make a beautiful transition into Elio telling Oliver about that passage in the book and finally making his courageous decision to speak. It’s lovely how those scenes flow into each other.

To go back to Elio’s “we wasted so many days” comment, another part of the film’s structure that is done expertly and gradually is the establishment of the languorous mood of summer juxtaposed with the rapidly diminishing time Elio and Oliver have together. In the beginning of the film, there is time to lounge about and take naps, scenes of Elio tossing and turning in his bed or sitting transcribing music, everyone just leisurely passing the time without hurrying toward anything at all. And then once Elio and Oliver kiss, time starts to pass differently. A bit of anxiety edges into the languid atmosphere as Elio impatiently looks at his watch all day waiting for midnight, and after they spend the night together, scenes of relaxing dinners and reading in the sun become more infrequent, replaced with Elio racing into town on his bike to see Oliver and the two of them gleefully embarking on the trip to Bergamo that will be their last hurrah before a bittersweet farewell.

Even some of the camerawork choices start to be a little more dynamic. In the beginning we have slow, panning shots of the Perlman family’s home and landscape, and in the beginning of the Bergamo section we have a much rockier tracking shot of the route the bus is taking on a dirt road (at least I assumed/thought that looked like it was supposed to be in front of the driving bus, it could also be them on bikes I imagine). Who doesn't remember that evocative feeling of summer in your formative years where it seems you have all the time in the world until suddenly you don't?

There are so many visual and sonic choices I adored. The dreamy, romantic piano line chosen for the memorial scene puts you in Elio’s headspace as he confesses to Oliver, repeating “Because I wanted you to know” slowly as though parsing his own meaning as he’s giving it voice. The blurry lens of the camera when Elio and Oliver kiss, Elio drunk and deliriously in love on the streets of Bergamo, makes you feel intoxicated right along with him. The backdrop of the orchards full of ripe fruit and the homoerotic nature of the sculptures Oliver and Mr. Perlman are studying is perfect but not heavy-handed. Nothing in this film beats you over the head. Everything is gradual and deliberate, sometimes painfully so but it’s in that ache that you find the magic I think. Everything in the scenery is lush and sensuous. And I can’t even THINK about the Sufjan songs or I will be an emotional wreck.

To speak to the criticisms of Luca not making the main love scene more graphic, that never occurred to me while watching the film. The way the first love scene between the two men is shot and choreographed, the way Elio clings to him and tilts his head back to expose his neck, eyes closed like he’s thoroughly entranced by the fact that this is real, the intimacy of them lying naked in bed afterward holding each other’s faces, it puts the focus on the absolutely deep-rooted yearning rather than simple mechanics of sex. I thought that was almost more erotic and meaningful than it would have been otherwise. And I say this as a person who LOVES queer smut. Like a lot. As in I have written hundreds of pages of it and read thousands and will read thousands more. I think Luca’s choices were wise and effective, and they have had a much more lasting impression on me than more graphic sex scenes have. And this brings us back to the quiet subtlety of the film because damn...that morning after? Where they both withdraw a bit and exchange awkward smiles, neither sure if the other party wants to repeat the encounter or if their feelings are returned in quite the same way and how to proceed from there? Yet another intimate scene that feels intrusive to watch but oh so realistic.

Sorry this is so long, but I have so many thoughts. I'll try to cap it off with a bit about Michael Stuhlbarg's speech. As a person attracted to people all over the gender spectrum, I really enjoyed that the film doesn’t paint the sexuality of the characters with hard, stringent lines. Elio might not be nearly as enamored with Marzia as he is with Oliver, and likewise Chiara may be more of an afterthought to Oliver than Elio is, but that doesn’t negate their encounters with the women. Sexuality is allowed to be fluid and free without any overwrought discussions of definitions in this film. Elio’s father’s speech is mostly talked about in context of the "don't shun your emotions and grow cold" sentiment, but I really enjoy that it's focused on Elio embracing his feelings and himself for who he is without an emphasis on adhering a strict label to what that means. The weight is instead given to Elio defining that in his own time. Once again, as a very fluid person I greatly appreciate this.

I also have come across some people interpreting Mr. Perlman's speech as though he is completely dissatisfied with his life and only thinks of the raw passion of youth as valid love. I don't think so. I think when he says he never had what Elio and Oliver had, that something always got in the way, that he means having a homosexual experience in an honest, unashamed way. He has a wonderful life with a partner who he is very comfortable and open with. He is shown consuming life with gusto. I think he just has some regrets as we all do and wants to minimize Elio's potential for regret as most parents do. Also, it absolutely breaks my already broken heart when he lies to Elio about his mother's knowledge of his affair with Oliver because he knows his son is too vulnerable to hear it just yet. A+++ parenting. Likewise, his mother combing her fingers through his hair and letting him mourn without pressing him to talk before he's ready.

Okay, ending before this becomes a novella. I just loved this film a lot and needed to post about it. :)

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