Movie Theater Experiences

[Antoine Doinel]

It was a packed house and the guy was clearly enjoying the movie (laughing etc) so I knew he was doing it absentmindedly and I didn't want to create a scene. But yeah, I was about two seconds from grabbing the pen from his hand and stabbing him in the thigh when he stopped.

[Brian C]

There was some kind of scene after Precious last night. From what I could gather, some patrons had walked in late, and there had been some confusion over whether a certain seat was open or not. The latecomers must have found seating elsewhere, but afterwards one of them got mad at the woman who had denied her a seat.

Well, the woman exploded. "Who do you think you are talking to me like that? You don't know me!" On and on this went as the credits played. She followed them down the stairs, yelling at them all the way. It was bizarre, as if some improv group had decided to act out Mo'Nique's character for everyone in the theater after the show.

[colinr0380]

But yeah, I was about two seconds from grabbing the pen from his hand and stabbing him in the thigh when he stopped.

Surely bashing him on the head would have been more appropriate?

[hidaniel]

I've never seen so many people walk out of a movie as when I saw The Girlfriend Experience. Twenty people in the theatre at the start of the movie, ten made it to the end. To be honest half way through my girlfriend and I thought about leaving too but by then the movie had moved into the so bad it's funny territory.

[Brian C]

You know what had a huge number of walkouts back when I was working the theater beat? Scorsese's Bringing Out the Dead. That one really got under people's skin for some reason.

[gubbelsj]

One of the more surreal moments in film-going experiences for me occurred at a San Diego mall showing of Aronofsky's The Wrestler, when a clearly disturbed young man, surrounded by several large tattered shopping bags stuffed with personal possessions, began moving between seats during the middle of the film, eventually placing himself in a standing position in the side aisle behind me. With a large cup of soda or water in hand, he proceeded to dunk his straw into the liquid, draw some out, and then flick it across audience members. I was one of the unlucky ones to suddenly be jolted by lukewarm water/soda flicking across my ear. I jumped up to notify security, who didn't ask him to leave but just stood in the aisle themselves, arms folded, for the rest of the screening - watching the guy or the film, I couldn't say.

But actually more disturbing was the guy at a scuzzy Milwaukee theater at a showing of Cronenberg's "History of Violence" who also surrounded himself with multiple bags, some of which contained I think some kind of chicken stew. He was silent and motionless throughout the film, aside from the two moments of shocking and graphic violence, at which he lapsed into hysterical, shrieking, little-girl laughter, rocking back and forth and slapping the sides of his chair. When the camera zoomed in on the quivering remains of a shotgun-blown off face, the theater echoed with his high-pitched delight.

[Elephant]

surrounded by several large tattered shopping bags stuffed with personal possessions [ . . . ] who also surrounded himself with multiple bags

This is one of the greatest, enduring mysteries of cinephilia. Here in New York, you can't see a film at MoMA, Film Forum, BAM, Lincoln Center, etc, without there being at least one person carrying multiple plastic bags, which generally seem to contain . . . more plastic bags? newspapers? trash? . . . and they wait until the lights go down to begin rifling through them. Once at Film Forum a guy next to me waited until the film started and then went ahead and proceeded to transfer all his newspapers from one plastic-bag-filled plastic bag into another. I was so confused. I really don't understand this. My friend and I often see how many seconds it takes at a MoMA film screenings from lights dimming to the sound of plastic bags being rattled. Never taken longer than thirty seconds.

[brendanjc]

The plastic bag thing is truly weird and apparently universal, the same thing seems to happen out here in Seattle whenever I see a film off-hours (like a matinee for a non-family film). I can never tell if it's someone who was shopping or just someone who's odd.

My best audience reaction story comes from a screening of a dreadful film called The 27 Club that I saw at a festival awhile back (it had a character who only spoke in three-syllable sentences for no goddamn reason and was ostensibly a "drama"). The film was introduced by the director and the screening was sparsely attended. About halfway through, I hear someone sleeping somewhere behind me (not snoring, but wheezing). It just keeps going and going and I keep getting angrier at that person (and at the film). I finally decide to take a peek over my shoulder and it turns out the culprit is one of two producers who showed up with the director, all of them sitting together two rows behind me and all dozing off. When the movie reaches its ridiculous black-gospel-choir-welcomes-the-depressed-white-rocker-protagonist-into-the-fold climax, which seems designed to be the moving scene, I've never struggled so hard not to burst out laughing at the whole situation. Needless to say I snuck out as they were walking up to discuss the film when the credits rolled (I think one of the festival ushers had to rouse them!).

[Perkins Cobb]

The plastic bag thing is a major problem, but I wouldn't really call it a mystery. Homeless and/or crazy people have a lot of time on their hands, and need warm places where no one will bother them. Ergo, the movies.

MoMA just needs to kick them out ... it's been a while since it's been a consistent problem at any of the other NYC revival houses. Now that Roberta Hill is dead, the line between cinephile and crazy-weirdo-off-the-street should be much easier to draw, so there's really no excuse.

(And then there's the public library -- as if spending a whole day combing through old Varietys on microfilm wasn't tedious enough, try it with a wheezing bag-rattler nesting in the kiosk next to you.)

[Gregory]

Obviously not all disruptive people are homeless, and not all homeless people are disruptive. I don't see any reason to single out homeless or otherwise poor people. In my experience, a good number of folks I encounter in public who are wheezing, talking to themselves, smelling intensely of cigarette smoke, etc. are apparently reasonably well off, have cars, and so on. I don't know the situation at MoMA, but I would be in favor of explicit policies about disruptive behavior that are consistently enforced with everyone. Personally, my biggest problem has been seat kickers and the usual stuff like that.

[Tribe]

folks I encounter in public who are wheezing, talking to themselves, smelling intensely of cigarette smoke, etc.

Have you been stalking me by any chance?

[Perkins Cobb]

I didn't say all disruptive people were homeless. I said some of the revival house bag-rattlers are homeless. Which would explain all those bags.

[Gregory]

I didn't say you said that all disruptive people were homeless or vise-versa. I was pointing out the contrary to show the flaw in saying the MoMA should kick "them" out, unless "them" refers to anyone being disruptive.

[domino harvey]

Aren't MoMA screenings like $10? That's a lot of wasted booze money

[Elephant]

Aren't MoMA screenings like $10? That's a lot of wasted booze money

People pay for a membership and then come and sit in the theater all day. And then complain about the films. They'll watch the same ones for days in a row. They're not homeless but they're crazy. Go see a 1pm screening of something on a Wednesday and you'll understand why the bathrooms by the theaters at MoMA are always about half a degree of filth more pleasant than the ones at Coney Island.

EDIT: And they all know each other and argue about things between films. They will occasionally walk out while voicing their disapproval of the film. The best was during a screening of "A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy" this decrepit guy armed with newspapers and plastic bags walked out, yelling, melodiously and to no one: "It's oh-kay, no-plot, kin-na dull . . . I like that Hannerannersistaz bettah."

[Tribe]

Aren't MoMA screenings like $10? That's a lot of wasted booze money

People pay for a membership and then come and sit in the theater all day. And then complain about the films.

So it's sort of like the Criterion Forum...only membership here is free.

[domino harvey]

Perhaps they raised the membership money by being one of those guys who sells $20 Xerox copies of the Speed script to gullible tourists outside MoMA

[Perkins Cobb]

The Walter Reade bathrooms are growing measurably more disgusting too, and I worry that these folks are branching out, or perhaps dividing into rival camps.

Perhaps they all live with their grown kids, who buy them MoMA memberships so they can kick 'em out of the condo all day and have some peace and quiet.

[domino harvey]

I'm sure there could be an entire thread of Antichrist reactions but I saw it again and the girl behind me would not shut the hell up. But she made it through the whole movie because apparently she had a crush on Charlotte Gainsbourg. I sussed this out during the scene with the shovel, where the girl behind me said proudly "I don't care, I still want to kiss her." She also said how much she wanted her sweater at least three times and loudly quoted Happy Gilmore's "Get in the hole," as though she was gonna get applause.

[Minkin]

I've had three rather interesting theater encounters-

A relative worked for Universal and invited me to their screening of Jackson's King Kong. After twenty minutes in, the boat sequence was instantly replaced by several people running from dinosaurs. The mistake was never quite resolved- though the relative soon mended the trip by taking me around the backlot on his golfcart.

One of my first theater experiences I can recall- I sat next to an overly excited woman who managed to purchase every confection prior to the movie. At one particularly jump-scare moment- her entire load of popcorn, milk-duds and multiple drinks shot out of everyone adjacent- I survived with only hits from the popcorn.

While in London the other month, I decided to see the production of War Horse. Being a last minute decision- I managed with one of the last seats available- In a secluded spot on the second story- furthest right possible. A young couple sat next to me- and the remainder of the seats nearby were empty (though I did arrive rather early). I was going to move- but had started a conversation with my neighbors. After the second scene- the couple decided that each other was far more interesting- and began their passionate kissing. Following intermission, more than half of the audience (including the couple) left.

[Zumpano]

Don't tell a moviegoer to hang up their phone; or you might get stabbed with a meat thermometer

[jamie_atp]

This thread reminded me of the scene seven minutes through this episode of League Of Gentlemen:
http://www.seesaw.com/TV/Comedy/p-9486- ... ston-Vasey" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

(sketch continues at 17:10)

[Cash Flagg]

I just came back from a screening of the restored Metropolis and the entire audience was howling throughout. It was horrible.

[knives]

My audience only howled at the end of prolouge card and the dance.

[mikkelmark]

Earlier this year I was in the cinema watching "A Prophet" by Audiard. During the violent scene with the razor and the blood an elderly man dropped down, and we had a 15 min break in the movie, while we waited for an ambulance. Luckily the man was ok, but kinda gave the movie, that was already really realistic, another dimension.